It's been awhile; I have a few of these drafted or half drafted and never seem to get them posted. I've been to Maluku Utara, had the most intense summer at home ever, came back and went very quickly into the most intense work months I ever want to experience, took a brief reprieve by traveling to Timor Leste and with a visit from and traveling in Java and Bali with my sister, and then wrapped up some projects and it was (US) summer again and time for -- it's maybe a little early to call it but I will anyway -- the annual trip home.
I'll get those shared eventually. In the meantime I'm up at 3 in the morning possibly with jetlag or possibly because of the fucking mosquito infestation happening at my house right now and, assuming jet lag since I don't feel like putting on bug spray, realized I had promised a friend tips and tricks on jet lag and also realized this was yet another topic I wrote about already, in the context of another yet unposted letter. So I'm updating it and posting, dammit. For the jet lag tips see footnote (1).
While incredibly less
intense by
any objective standards than the previous summer, this recent trip home had its own set of questions and
issues such as what am I doing with my life and how in the world did I
end up in Jakarta and at what point do I start making other plans and
how does one make life plans... I'll be working on that a bit, in and around work and play, as well as trying to make myself happy in Jakarta while I'm here. In part that means getting over how generally negative and specifically frustrated with this hard-to-love city that I was before I went back home. I'd like to think its fairly understandable that I developed a bit of a negative mindset working 19 hour days in a dysfunctional institution with a dearth of support and guidance in a role I was ill prepared and completely lacked confidence for about amidst shifting and unclear expectations. While thank goodness, the work situation has calmed down and improved significantly and for sure, the 19 hour days and pretty awful work environment is not my situation now -- and damned if I'm going to let anything like January to June happen to me again ever. Ever,
ever. But I'm still here in Jakarta and I'm never going to love this city so part of aiming for being happy is
trying to focus on the things that I do like about being here.
Blocking out the 3 days I spent in a stupor with the runs in Singapore
before that, nominally getting caught up with work while arranging my
Indonesia work visa, the lovely few days that I just had made remembering things that I like about Jakarta quite a bit easier. Thursday and Friday were a couple solidly pleasant days of getting caught up in person at work. On Friday I also had lunch and got caught up with my uncle and then drank martinis with a bunch of my favorite Jakarta people at Face Bar which managed not experience a bomb threat by extremists, followed by an impromptu house party at apartment-with-a-view of one of said favorite people, then Saturday did a liquor store run -- always an adventure -- and feed-the-hangover lunch at Cork&Screw for its Hainan chicken rice and inexplicably extraordinary clam chowder, followed by an afternoon drinking Bintangs and reading by the Hyatt Hotel pool. I mention specifically the Hyatt Hotel because it's located right in the middle of Jakarta next to 2 of the biggest malls and therefore in an area that's fucking disastrous with traffic, but the pool area is on a 5th floor terrace covered in trees and is literally an oasis from the city outside. Then Sunday I went and saw a few other favorite Jakarta people at a Scusa free flow brunch and spent the afternoon cooking, which is one of the things I promised myself to start doing again with the end of the 19-hour work days. Monday work was again reasonably pleasant including lunch with one of said favorite Jakarta people and ended with an evening at home of martinis and homemade spring rolls and peanut sauce with yet one more such person.
That said that was pretty idyllic as weekends go and not necessarily the typical run of things and I'm sure it's going to get much more real again quickly enough (2). So, I'm saying things that
I like, out loud, in no particular order, for my sake and yours:
- Indonesian food. Good shit. I could get into specifics but it might be depressing how much longer my list of specific foods that I like is compared to any other things that I like. So might save that for another time and just mention sweet tempe, soto ayam, sate bumbu kacang, yellow rice, stuffed tofu, perkedel, Ibu Ya's quail eggs, grilled chicken, grilled fish, dim sum, bakmi, rujak, doctored Indomie, and those dumplings by the Hotel Borobudur.
- My house. A little rough around the edges – we had to turn the water pump off the day that I got back yesterday since water running was spurting buckets worth out from around the shower tap, and the shower hot water heater is acting up -- but generally such a nice calm cool refuge. With personality.
- The amount that I learn in any given day.
- Indonesian people generally are really kind to strangers if you try to engage, and a smile is usually enough to engage
- Playing between languages.
- My cat. He's not really mine and I know that’s crazy, I’m not a pet person and will probably never buy myself a cat, but this little cat my roommates rescued is in his own category and seeing his little broken tail waving around makes me happy
- Quality lounging-by-the-pool time just about any day of the year.
- My quote on quote circle, both 1st degree and through my uncle (definitely some overlap but he’s been here a lot longer and is himself one of said extraordinary individuals, so you can imagine his circle!) is full of truly extraordinary minds and personalities and accomplished individuals, some of whom have become very dear to me on a personal level.
- Shopping for contemporary design that uses traditional material.
- Art in daily life.
- Earning real-ish money for the first time ever. (I’m ignoring the lack of benefits….We’ll get there.
- The lifestyle and luxuries that I can access and afford compared to what I would be able to elsewhere. (Yes, I have a maid.)
- The possibilities for truly unique adventure, both outside Jakarta but in the city too if you go looking for it, and buying a last minute plane flight to pretty much anywhere Indonesia/Asia is very possible for cheap. And to Australia as well apparently; that's happening.
While sometimes it’s
nice to get a break in the real world, e.g. my trip to Dili which reminded me
that Jakarta is its own little island, I also am
grateful for the access that I have in Jakarta to things that in many parts of Indonesia
and the world would not be possible. For instance, pretty continuous water and electricity; decent food from various
culinary traditions (I could have noted that foods I enjoy here includes Indian food, and I’m betting Korean food though I haven’t
found it yet, and some very decent Vietnamese food, and aforementioned
clam chowder and such other random gems such as the Goods Diner tomato
soup and the now-disappeared best sandwich ever at Canteen); the grocery stores regularly stock e.g. whole wheat flour,
brown sugar, cheese, artichokes, American cereal, etc if you’re willing to pay
for them; I have routine access to high speed wireless internet; while the food
often disappoints the drinks at fancy shmancy establishments are often
impressive; if I need to go to the mall and buy a shirt or a pair of undies, I
can, as long as I accept that I’m size XL; I haven’t had to yet but I could pay
all my utilities bills through the ATM; I don’t pay more than $12 - $15/month
for phone service including full internet access; being able to buy phone
minutes in just about any corner store.
So now that I'm feeling all positive it's now 5 a.m. and I might manage to doze off for awhile before the day starts, so I'll go ahead and leave this for now. More to follow. Love you
M
(1) I think this is too late for the particular person who needed it -- sorry! -- but despite current evidence to the contrary I'm usually pretty good at keeping comfortable on long flights and on getting over the jetlag and I decided it should be written down somewhere:
For jetlag
- Drink lots and lots and lots of water. They never ever give you enough on board so buy a bunch after security and before you board. Though note that in Jakarta this is not possible and in stupid Seoul they will take it all from you before you board, at least if you're US-bound. On board, keep persistently asking for water, bring a water bottle and ask them to keep filling that up rather than giving you shitty little plastic glasses. They may resist but fuck ‘em, you need to hydrate, smile nice and keep asking.
- Also for hydration purposes do not drink alcohol en route (OK, maybe one drink…).
- Set your watch/computer/devices to the time zone you’re going so you start getting in that mindset.
- Do your best to time your sleep w/ a normal sleeping time in your destination especially if you’re taking pills to sleep on the plane but really if en route you feel yourself falling asleep, sleep no matter what time is it, since sleep will be hard to come by especially in economy,
- For god’s sake, tell the flight attendants not to bother you if you’re sleeping (but tell them you’ll want your food later so they put some aside for you).
- Be very sure to stay up until at least 8:30 pm once you’re on the ground—do not let yourself nap! You’ll sleep through and be all off schedule for days and days.
- Once you're on the ground, in addition to (and to help with) forcing yourself to stay awake, get some sunlight -- indirect is good too but especially some direct vitamin D right into your skin helps your body realize what time zone you're in.
And in general for
your packing comfort on long hauls: Bring an eye mask, chapstick, some extra scarves
or sweaters to arrange yourself, socks (I usually wear flip flops and have
socks in my bag, I proudly wear my flip flips over my socks to the bathroom),
wear all-but-pjs and glasses for the plane ride but have a change of clothes
handy to change into :45 or so before you land along with a toothbrush and some
handiwipes and contacts… you’ll feel so much better when dealing w/ immigration
and a new city etc if you’ve freshended up and are dressed normal. Ear plugs if
you can wear them. Some reading material -- don’t forget some hardcopy versions
for take-off/landing if you do most of your reading on a device -- and maybe an
ipod is really all else that you need, especially if
you have an individual movie screen (check before you go, in economy its not a
sure thing, if the screens are shared, it might be worth downloading shows or
movies onto a device to watch on the plane since the selection is usually not
great and you can’t control when you watch.) Ooo also some healthy snacks to have on hand and the water bottle mentioned with regards to jet lag ass kicking.
(2) The goal is to not
fixate on shit like the amount of time Indonesian women take in public
bathroom stalls or the fact that the airport no-liquid rule is taken to the point
of not even selling bottled water once you’ve passed security or in general the
mindless adherence to really stupid rules or the very indirect communication
styles or the horrendous traffic and lack of effective public transport or the
almost standard disappointing food in fancy shmancy restaurants or a few key aspects
of the professional situation I’ve gotten myself into or the large work-play
overlap or the fact I’m 12 time zones away from most of my nearest/dearest or
being photographed paparazzi style while walking down the street. I could go on but … that would defeat the purpose and the good residual feelings of the past 4 days.
